I’m really only adding this to my blog to demonstrate that I’ve been thinking about Film 3-which I have! I therefore acknowledge that most of what I have written is not very funny, and serves as merely a document of work.
Introduction
Presenter: Good Evening welcome to Yesterdays Issue, your most current, affairs program. On our show this morning…I mean tonight we explore the Big Banana Bonanza hitting North Queensland Grocery Stores (images of Bananas) The Neighbour from Hell (a smiling, pleasant man dressed up in a devil suit) and just Why He Won’t go away (he frowns as if he has ‘heard’ the line). Before we see him the camera pans around the house) followed by Santiago Lamons budget cuts and how it will affect your pocket. But First…….. (Camera stops showing image montage, the presenter is now looking down the lens on another angle) We celebrate the works of comedy legend David Morris.
Corny 70’s music plays as potentially found footage or filtered original footage-or both comes across the screen. This is a quick introductory montage. I feel as though I should incorporate a really out of context image of George Bush or some 21st century icon here, just for laughs.
Narrator: The 1970’s, they were the best of times, they were the worst of times, depending on who you asked. And it was this particular decade that comedian David Morris, so humbly known to many as Sir David Morris OBE, could and would call his own.
A shot of the two.
Interviewer (taking himself too seriously): Despite little critical and commercial success you made a big impact, ok maybe not a big impact, an impression on the Australian Underground Comedy Circuit
Assistant: Cut! (pauses, looks to assistant)
Interviewer: Sorry, Was I being too generous there? She Nods. You made an impression on the Australian Underground Comedy Circuit. ( a maybe? Probably leave this out. )
David Morris: I made an impression on the whole world, on the very construct of the society in which we lived.
Interview: Are you telling me that you believe the infamous cow joke performed in 1973, directed at Margaret Thatcher, has embedded itself into the cultural psyche of this great nation.
David Morris: In a word. Yes.
Interview: Very well-articulated, you’re a clever man.
David Morris: Thankyou.
Then change things around.
David Morris: You could say that my presence in the world shifted human civilization out of modernity and into post-modernity. But I’m not one for big claims
Interviewer: Always a humble man of course. (MAYBE THROUGHOUT THE STORY YOU CAN EMPHASISE HIS HUMILITY-BUT OF COURSE HE’S NOT)
Interview: Thankyou. I have played all the great venues.
“Madisons Square Garden” A picture of a young Madison in her backyard, symmetrically framed.
“Royal Alberts Hall” A balding, middle age man, wearing a crown in front of a Scout Hall.
Hollywood Bowl. Out the back of a Chinese restaurant.
I need a better/different set up to this, it can’t be too and fro dialogue.
Jokes:
1: I’ve played in all the big venues Madison’s Square Garden an image of a smiley Madison in her tiny AstroTurf Garden, Royal Alberts Hall an aging Bald Man Wearing a Crown in front of a Southall and the Hollywood Bowl (some Chinese restaurant).
- An interviewee is drinking wine from a wine glass, she says ‘Fill Her Up’ and a two litre Just Juice Bottle enters the frame.
- The comedians ‘worst enemy’ who, whilst wearing a Maccas Shirt, Woolworths Hat amongst other big company advertisements ends his rant against David Morris saying he should ‘Eat Fresh!’ and ‘Go Home’. During his segments adverts zip across the bottom of the screen.
- 1970’s Grainy Image Segment. A key part of it is the joke ‘The 1970’s, They were the best of times They were the worst of times, depending on who you ask’. I want to create Pretend 70’s stock film by filtering it on premiere through a grainy filter as if it was filmed in the 70’s. Found footage could also work.
- When I first met Jerry Seinfeld (any comedian obviously if this was filmed it would have to be fictional) and did some of my material he told me I would be best off as a straight man. I said around him Unlikely! A talking head of Jerry (the fictional comedian) appears and he says ‘I should have known’ dryly.
- This is where we filmed my first show ‘The Quirks of David Morris’ of course when filmed some 30 years ago, this here was all farmland. He stands in front of Flinders Street station.
- They are walking in a vacant car lot. This is where I shot my first Hollywood Film. The reporter says in a concerned fashion. In Coburg west?
- Maybe I could do a segment on his influences and have really bad comedians sighting him as a major influence, maybe I could get films of them bombing on stage.
- Don’t forget the died at the end joke, and break the charade of a T.V show by filming the presenters adviser telling the presenters about the comedians sudden death. At the end of the show Yesterdays Issue pays tribute to him by playing the whole segment again, however I will only show the first 5 seconds and then fade into a super cheesy fare out with his Birth and Death dates next to his image.
- Have fun with the ACA ‘Next Week’ Gags
- There was an idea of him getting stabbed when he talks to them about his old film set in Coburg East-an unplanned crazy person wants to kill him and the crew, it is filmed as if the crew are all in trouble.
- When doing his Bio I could talk about drug use and messed up affairs
- David Morris takes his Veganism very seriously having not eaten meat since last Tuesday
Have beach surf music in my 1970’s segment.
Don’t forget the cuttlefish joke Of His son telling the camera directly that he saves money on Toothpaste by ‘Sharpening’ his teeth with cuttle fish, he smiles as the camera zooms in and some of this teeth are black.
- Loved by some and known by So many this truly is a tragedy.
- When asked for his old jokes he states he only ‘performs new material’
At the age of 97 our comedian has died of the plague loved by some and known by so many this is a significant loss for Australia comedy, Police have assured us here at a curent affair no fowl play occurred.