This semester I really tried to not get influenced by classic narrative forms or carried away by the desire to entertain or do something dramatic. My focus initially was to try and capture the essence of a subject, location or feeling and allowing it to exist without constructing anything on top of it.

My first investigations intended to capture footage and audio and see what the truest and least contrived moments where and develop the next investigation from there. I chose this method rather than decided what I was going to do before hand and directing and organising a scenario or a scene. I did this because I wanted to feel what could happen cinematically to people, places and things and how they spoke to an audience just how they were. I think when there is the compulsion to make something we decide what it is first without finding out what things mean and allowing them to speak to their full potential. I’m glad I chose this way of working as my first film because I ended up capturing a lot of location and outdoor footage because it was easy to access, there’s a lot of it, and it speaks pages without my needing to add or take away anything. I used a lot of location and abstract footage to enhance my audio and work together with the experience Penelope was sharing.

My subject Penelope was a girl I knew who has now become a close friend of mine. I believed she carried a uniqueness and intrigue that would translate well on film. Her musicality and desire to express herself through singing, speaking and playing piano, made her a useful subject to me because the investigations become more like collaborations where I was able to be quite open with her about where I was at throughout certain stages of the project. Rather than buttering her up or pretending the piece was going to be better than it was, I told her, this is my first experience in making a short film and I’m not exactly sure what it’s going to be but I hope to make something beautiful and evocative that reflects something about your experience and presence. I do feel like there are moments where I capture her journey and vulnerability but obviously this is the start and there is miles for me to grow and develop in all areas of this process.

Straight away, what Penelope brought to our sessions immediately kicked me into fear because I wanted to do her justice. She was offering me stories and memories, originally composted music, singing and private experiences. she bought so much to the table just by being herself and there was really no need for me to instruct or direct her even in the voice recording where I would have thought I’d need to direct her pace and tone of speaking to suit the edit. But no, she did this naturally. I think because she is a musician and deeply sensitive and intuitive, allot of this comes naturally to her.

I was hoping I wouldn’t have to direct her because I really just wanted her to exist as she was, how I see her in real life and to express that through a kind of media portrait.