Unfortunately I was not able to come to the last workshop but I was able to attain what the industry professionals had to say about our groups rough cut for PB4.

Our rough cut for PB4 contained dialogue between Arnel and I, Arnel played the weirdly accented Constable Price/the son and me playing the distant and adulterous stay at home dad, Martin. Our rough cut started off with an audio clip of a radio changing channels before it cut into a police interview between Martin and the constable. From there with the use of comical memory sound effect (which I think was made with a harp) it cut to Martin walking his son to school and the subsequent conversation.

The overall reception of our rough cut was good but the professional did not like our opening and thought it was confusing and factually inaccurate. Upon reflection I agreed with this and thought it was a little childish, silly and unrealistic. Upon further reflection I thought the execution of the entire rough cut was a little childish despite the good overall idea.

Upon hearing this feedback I desperately thought of a way to tighten our overall presentation, I still liked the linear storyline that was presented through the 8 or so minutes of the project but with I feel we needed to add a bit of structure to our overall piece and make sure it is coherent.

Here is my learning graph as well.

AG