Feedback On 2nd Draft

Today’s presentation of the draft was pretty harrowing. It really drove home that at the moment our artefact is very dry. I myself lost interest in listening to it within the first five minutes. But it gave us a good opportunity to talk to Rachel and get some ideas on how to improve our final product. We all agreed on the corresponding edits from the feedback we received:

– louder mix, more evenly distributed levels.
– more references to peer approved articles and journals within the dialogue
– more pauses in the dialogue, leave time for information to sink in
– more voices, give texture to the final edit

Here’s my written notes on what we should change: