Brief 4 – Poem by Leanne
—
It is a limbo
between the unknown.
A rip, stretching, pulling apart
of casing, sheathing.
Pulling apart the flesh
to emerge into reality.
To exist is breathing
between the haunted.
Exorcise the demons
contorting within
your limbs. Splayed
and stretching
outwards to the
point of splintering,
the webbing of your
fingers rupture into
wounded fissures until
you are the between.
Your neck, like your
dune-carved back,
torn taut into a
violin bow tension
and you hear music
even though you cannot
see. You are flickering
through dimensions,
quivering through
minims and quavers.
Everything is
compressed. And
you, submerged,
until only remnants and
fibres tether you
together, let out a
scream from your
inner. Eternally, from
the in-between.
—
Will edit with intention and theme ideas gleaned from Leanne’s poem in a few days. For now, tis a mystery.
I enjoyed the simplicity of the mis-en-scene here. I think the angle of the bath shot threw me… I wonder what it would be like to hear the words of the poem instead of the breath? And I wonder whether playing with some repetition rather than a linear trajectory would open up something with this?
Leanne’s poem: Always something haunting in your poems Leanne! & the imagery is yet again very strong. I liked the second-person POV, especially as it made the physical descriptors more tangible.
Ben’s video: Definitely something sinister here – the Kulechov Effect made that coin seem ominous. I could detect that you carried the tone of the poem into your video… I like how you approached imagery like “between the haunted” and “stretching, pulling apart” and related these in visual/audial ways.
Leanne’s poem: Beautiful, as I expected. There’s something haunting about the way you write and I mean that in the best way. I loved the whole thing.
Ben’s video: I think you really nailed the tone of Leanne’s poem. This was creepy and made me feel unsettled but in the way it’s meant to? It’s not a bad thing by any means. The heavy breathing audio really enhanced the simplistic visuals.
As others have noted, these works go hand in hand so well!
It was so interesting to see how this work related to you’re other two works and that in your video responses you both ended up with while different, very similar videos!
I’d like to know what videos your guys original poem responses were to and to know whether they were the same and that helped lead to it or whether you guys just were a great pair and on the same wave length! Haha
Only criticism would be, as Smiljana said, I would have like to see a little less linearity within the video! Still great though!
Really liked how you built tension with the spinning of the coin that was quite a clever trick. The breathing helped build up something unsettling that was really interesting.
One thing that could be interesting is having expression on the face and seeing where that could take the piece.
Great work Ben
I really thought the audio in this piece was the stand out. It really gave it some kind of uneasiness yet maintained a nice flow. The vertical framing for the coin shots however were a little distracting. The audio at the very end was really interesting as it rose up and the switch back from black and white was particularly cool as it sounded like there was laughing in the breathing t conclude the piece.