As of today, I can’t ascertain how long there’ll be. Six months, a year, two years?
He had told me of my eventual fate in a way that sounded like it wasn’t everyone’s eventual fate. Why should it matter more that I go before the average person does?
Who even said I wanted to be here anymore anyway?
But that’s not what he meant. The doctor. I think he meant something else.
Regardless, I’ve decided that when we don’t have much to look forward to, you start looking back.
For my retrospection, I’ve made a few guidelines, so as to keep myself brief but understandable. As I’ve said, this is my life. It could easily get confusing, especially when I’m rambling on like a crazy person, jumping back and forth from what makes me happy to what makes me cringe. But it isn’t a ride, this isn’t fun. It’s complementary, it’s an addition to what I’m writing about. It’s my summary, my message to the world that no one – including me – can really be summarised in a paragraph or two, and that any story, start to finish will omit important details. There is nothing I can do about that. I will forget things. Things that have fallen into the abyss. But, by my choice of format and medium, hopefully you’ll never be able to discover everything that I’ve managed to salvage and thus, the content of my life remains infinite, purely by the fact that you don’t know the full extent of what is contained within it. And I go on, in a way. Still someone who has secrets to share, secrets to tell. You just have to ask me the right way.
A hint: you’re on the right track.
After all, I made this for you.
Afterthoughts: