12 May 2015 – Lectorial
In our enlightening lectorial, we explored what an institution comprises of. We established that; institutions are governed by expectations, they may have some kind of legal framework, cultural rules, rituals, symbols and community recognition.
After an enjoyable analysis of David Simon’s HBO drama The Wire, marriage came into focus as one of the most universal examples.
This got me thinking about my situation.
So, I’m engaged. I finally popped the question in 2014 after 10 years of being with my life partner. But, we’re not married yet… and we may never get married, the reason for this is that we plan to prioritise our spending on overseas travel, living expenses and our daughter’s education.
My grandmother is 93, she’s sharp as a tack, speaks her mind like she’s got nothing to lose and wouldn’t hesitate to offer you a bed if you were down and out, though she is old fashioned. She was born in the 20’s when institutions were a lot different, for example, women had only just been granted the right to vote!
Naturally, a bone of contention has grown between us as a result of our opposing ideals, it is mostly lacquered over with funny quips like “When are you getting married?” “Let me look at my watch!” etc. Through this light exchange, there is a mutual understanding that times have changed, however, it is hard to look away from the underlying hurt that ensues from our opinions on life. My Gran does not hold back from reminding me that illegitimate children born out of wedlock were shamed in her day, similarly, I am often expressing contemporary views about the world that, for her, may be regarded as offensive.
The ideals of certain institutions that have been forged in to our minds, seem to have become indelible; they have fastened themselves to the psyche as if they were a part of the human anatomy.
As an advocate of change, I find these interactions challenging, I find it hard to rise above my Gran’s antiquated views because the more we disagree, the more we seem to dig our heels in.
We have become obstinate, disillusioned and tired of the impositions that have been lugged on to us from our ever changing society.
To agree to disagree seems to be the best resolution but, really? Is this all we’ve got??