week 4

My thoughts on Cal Newport’s “Clarity of the Craftsman.”

Since kindergarten, I have been programmed to think about my future. Ever since my name was registered into the system amongst the sea of other humans, I was set along a path to find a function in society. At about the age of kindergarten to prep, my wishes for the future had no thought behind it. It would have been occupations that I would’ve seen on television or in storybooks; things like an astronaut, a zookeeper, a painter. And of course, the adults in my life would just laugh about it and think “how adorable, let’s dress her up as an astronaut.” As I begin to start finding identity in my life through school and my own interests and hobbies, my answer after the ellipses of “When I grow up…” would start to mold and shape according to what interests me in life. I found that I was a very artistic student, and in having a mother who was a piano teacher, I took my music life very seriously.

For kids growing up, especially in a first world country like Australia, we have the luxury to aspire for jobs that we would love doing. I’ve heard this phrase countless times in career speeches and such: “Do what you love.” Being Asian, I’m sure a lot of my cultural brothers and sisters will understand that we sometimes do not have the luxury to “do what we love” and must have a career that’s more financially stable like a doctor, lawyer, accountant, etc. (albeit there’s a lot of debate behind this logic.) I was lucky to have more “westernized” Asian parents (they spent many years studying in England) who allowed me to invest into my artistic interests. When I started VCE Media in year 11 and studied the evolution of media and created multiple film and photography projects, I felt like I had an epiphany; the curtains finally revealed the future I wanted. I still am positive I want a future in the media industry but there have been so many times where little thoughts at the back of my head tell me to give up because I am never 100% happy with the works I make. Perfectionism is something I torture myself with throughout my whole life, even with my music, and so I often become very discouraged to continue projects because of the fear of it not turning out perfect. After reading Cal Newport’s discussion on the “craftsmen mindset” and the “passion mindset”, I was transported back to the time I was creating a short film on mental illness and depression. This film called “HOLES” received full marks for VCE, but I cannot bring myself to watch it again because I cringe at every little mistake I made in it. Though, as Newport pointed out that we should focus “on what we can offer the world,” I remember that many individuals have told me how they emotionally connected with HOLES and appreciated my efforts to communicate the issue of mental illnesses. Knowing that definitely comforts me and reminds me that although my film isn’t perfect, if it makes a difference to even just one individual, then my film has done it’s job.

In saying that, I’ve linked my film, HOLES, to this post as a type of way for me to overcome my fear of its imperfections.

WARNING: this short film contains graphic content such as blood and gore and insinuates sensitive topics such as depression and self harm.