Today in class, I played the voice track for our audio essay, which I recorded in more of a sort of persuasive online style, the sort of thing you would associate with a massive click-bait title. I wanted to come at it from the perspective of trying to stir up Australians to agree that something needs to be done about our media industry and the rapid descension into total filth that seems to be occurring particularly in television and cinema.

When playing the essay for the class I received some very polarising feedback in terms of people being really positive and really negative. Some people in the class really loved the fast, aggressive pace of it, saying that it kept them engaged, others felt it was too much. I have listed some of the feedback/suggestions I got below:

– Use sound bites to break it up – For example sound effects of Channels switching a lot

– Ask your question up front – set it up faster and more efficiently

– Start cynical – maybe on the back foot before you call your audience to action

– Propose or argue rather than state certain things to be factual

– “This isn’t just my idea, people have been saying this for ages” – back up your idea

– Build to anger, don’t be a bull at a gate

– Slow down!!!!!!!

– Be a little less dense – use “Game of Thrones” almost like a case study, not just as evidence of a problem.

– Balance – Dynamic

 

– Structurally be a little more structured – watch for flow

– Who is your audience

– Diversity of voices – be a little bit more conversational

I really like this feedback I think it give us a lot of direction going forward as we try to make the essay be a little be more factual. Seth suggested I should just go for it. Make a viral YouTube essay and follow it all the way, don’t half commit but totally commit. I think I will take this on board and simplify my argument but keep the tone relatively similar, though maybe just toning down the start a little.