today’s lecture (don’t want to call it unlecture because it makes me think of ‘unbirthday’ and by extension, cake…and I’m hungry). the thing that I took away was the idea of education not being a commodity that you can simply ‘purchase’ or are just entitled to by default because you paid to be at university. that essentially, if you want to get something out of this course (and university in general) you need to put in the work. as a person who breezed through high-school with minimum effort, I’ve learnt the bad habit of being complacent and lazy instead of pushing myself and having unlimited potential. the thought of putting in more effort or working harder than I have to is something I’m not fond of, but is something that I’ve made a conscious decision to do since starting my studies. having come from work experience in television and an intensive film course, a lot of the prescribed tasks are very basic and don’t necessarily ‘challenge’ me. I learnt early on in the year that if I wanted to get anything out of my studies, I needed to put in extra time into going further, digging deeper and expanding my own knowledge rather than just do what is needed. while I don’t do this all the time (ain’t nobody got time for that) it is something that I do agree with.

I was also trying to figure out (based on the model that was given to us) what sort of ‘learner’, therefore, ‘worker’ I am. I respond well to the model that is being presented to us with the looseness of the course and the destruction of boundaries but at the same time, I did well when everything was structured and fed to me (probably because I’m lazy). I’m highly organised but I’m also very creative, which is a rare combination but an extremely lucky one. that being said, I could also identify with Adrian’s struggles with starting a million things and never finishing anything (but this isn’t in relation to work or anything that has a deadline, more just hobbies and creative projects of my own). I don’t know whether I prefer having the structure and being told specifically what to do – this frustrates me because it limits creativity and makes me feel like a child, to which I have an instant reaction of wanting to rebel.
on the other side of the spectrum, having no boundaries and loose outlines gives me too much freedom creatively and it becomes difficult to know where to begin, or finish things… I’m never sure if I’m doing enough of the right thing, or if there even is a ‘right’ thing.


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