Yesterday’s class (for me) was very productive.

I have been asking myself a lot of questions lately – regarding what I want to do and what I see myself as being in the future. I have been so confused lately and have been putting the pressure on… for no reason. It’s what I do. I am a stress-head and me stressing being confused comes across in class. I know that. I can’t even get a solid sentence out – even idea. I am constantly doubting myself and my knowledge. Because at the moment – I am feeling somewhat lost. I have been asking a lot of questions and not finding an answer this equally to more questions. I don’t know what is wrong or right – and I don’t even know if I have a direction.

Yesterdays class forced me to write down these question and say a loud what I have been thinking. But I didn’t really say it out loud – because I doubted myself as soon as I started talking and Paul’s unreadable face intimidated me and so I wanted to get out what I was saying in a better way. Yet, I couldn’t form words. I can’t find clarity at all at the moment.

The way I am living is ‘stable’ (so to speak, in comparison to what I am use too) – and this fact has given me a lot of time to think about myself… I haven’t had this much time to think in a long time. I am usually filled with exterior problems, issues (whateverrrr) that spins through my head. I am also use to moving around A LOT and never living in the one place. I have found myself living in the one place… which is also strange, because I have never lived in one place. So I don’t have a bag constantly packed, I don’t have to plan everywhere I go meticulously and I have time to myself. Although, now I have hit a dilemma of myself and what to do. I don’t even know. This relates to my investigation somehow – I swear.

So back to yesterdays class, this is what I wrote –


“I have been trying to gain perspectives of films on different angles. I have tried to look at it in different roles – such as director and the actor. I have realised that there are two sides – yet they should come together as a unity.

 My cinema teacher said today that a film is 3/4 the way the actors perform. So ¼ is everything else – the mise en scene, the way it’s ‘covered’. He then continued to say that casting would almost be the most important part. This makes me think – actors (performers) have a lot of responsibility. I then thought back to who did the casting. That’s where this big decision comes from. Then I think where did the requirements for the casting come from – again that’s another role, another person/team. At first I completely disagreed with what he had to say – because, come on. Then I started to create the circle, how its formed and who decided what. It also, strangely, makes me want to be a performer or know what it feels like. Do they have as much power as he said they do? Do they really make the film what it is – and do they control the quality by 3/4ths? Why does this make me want to be an actor – is it because I use to dream of it when I was a little girl OR is it because I want more control?

 This makes me think – the people who direct and act in the same film? Surely this is a lot of control. Now you are taking the full responsibility of everything PLUS the performance? Could I do this – am I capable? I guess it’s the best of both worlds. But maybe I can’t act – maybe I am terrible. Maybe I can’t direct but can perform yet take on both roles? But what if I feel so passionate about something I have created and I can find no one to play the role that I have put my heart and soul into thinking up? Does this mean I am capable of doing it? How can I have a non-bias view that I am actually good at acting OR directing.

 I don’t know if I want to act or even direct – I really don’t. But I want to know both sides, or to even see if there is two sides?

 Director and performer – to direct do you need to understand what it’s like to perform?”


What? So many damn questions. This is what happens when I write – anything I think, just goes straight onto what I have written. Good think or bad thing? I need reassurance all the time. Does it even matter? Oh well – moving on.

So this is what I want to do –

Originally – yes, I wanted to create a scene. But now, I am not so sure… This right now, is what interest me. This is what I want to investigate and delve further into. I am not a fan of writing essays – but at this point,  I think I might have to. But it leaves me annoyed – because I really want to create something. I think by doing this though, I will create clarity within my mind. Tomorrow this might change (I am obviously temperamental and my mind is not staying in one place, even though physically I am).

WEEK 5 – epiphany #5

I really enjoyed today’s class. I finally directed. It was one short – but we had a great amount of time for trial and error. We used the camera hand held to work out the spot – and we changed it multiple times because we didn’t like the set up.

I really like doing these exercises in class – and I don’t want to stop doing them. I think they are really fun. I also learn a lot about the process – and directing is actually really fun. I like working with people and trying lots of different things. Such as different camera angles, different positions and working with the actors.

Watching how they move on the camera – how certain people take direction.

But what really intimidated/ excited me was all the actors that were keen to be a part of our scenes. Knowing the brief and the large amount of them there were – it shook me a little bit. But in the best possible way. It made me really keen to create a scene. Now I am really excited.


Found Scene – #2

Amelie (2001)

Amelie (Jean-Pierre, 2001)

 I haven’t watched this film for years – and I have found a new love for this film. Not only the meaning behind it but the way it’s shot. It’s incredibly unique (in my perspective) and very strange as well. I am sure many people would disagree with me – but personally I like it. I am very inspired from it – maybe because it reminds me of my childhood. But now I feel like I understand why I use to think it was so beautiful (due to how it was created through coverage).

I have chosen to do the Credit scene plus the introduction to the parents. I think the start of the film is at such a high quality (through the use of whole lost of different techniques) and it takes you into a bit of a journey throughout the duration of the film.


  1. Introduction’ – 0:22 – 4:35

After a few titles, the audience is shown an establishing shot with narration (no camera movement). The second shot is where the camera movement begins to start – this time subtly (as moving the camera on tracking shots is used very often in this scene) to again establish the environment (Paris – Eiffel Tower in the background). This slowly moves down to the subject matter of the glasses. In the first few shots it is as though they are establishing the environment but not yet the main characters – like short, but not quiet, unrelated scenes. The audience is then shown a man (still highlighting a similar environment [through the window]) with a tracking shot. I am a huge fan how they have used tracking shots – it makes it feel more intimate and it’s just so smooth.

The next few shots have been done in post-production (I assume) as we are shown another story – but this time the environment has already been established (with the French styled music as well) and we are now going from the very start (sperm and eggs). The next shot (pregnant woman) is magnificent. I would assume this has been done with multiple still shots – as she grows and then there is the birth. This is a fast paced process (even though pregnancy is not fast paced).

New music chimes in and the audience is shown beginning credits and are shown Amelie as a little girl (assumed as she was just born). There is a jittery feel throughout this start – as though it’s been replayed through as old film camera. Post-production (again assumed) there are small details of scratches and colour grading has been done to create an ‘old’ effect. Some shots become over exposed and flared and then the frame is brought back to a greenish/yellow tone – a little bit like sepia but not. The camera almost looks (and it may be) hand held). The camera wobbles towards Amelie, but what I am guessing a home quality feel (parents videoing their children on a hand held video camera). Although the way it’s filmed doesn’t feel like it would be her parents, but an outsider that she trusts. Maybe even herself as it looks like to be her little world and how her mind works.

I think on set lighting would have come from one or two sources – as there is a lot of shadows and tonal gradients on Amelie’s face (also emphasised through post-production). Direct but soft lighting. The camera comes in and out of focus in a fast pace – and some shots are even sped up. This creates a quirky feel – especially against the soft and slow music. There are a lot of shots (or even one shot that kept rolling on hand held) that have been cut and put together timely with the music and as some shots are sped up there isn’t a dull or slow moment and this is emphasised through the continuous cuts to different shots. Although some shots are shown to be ‘real time’ paced (such as dominos) to create a little bit of suspense and the importance of the moment. I think the actor is very controlled but the camera movement almost looks like it has been thought out on the spot. It’s effortless in the way it goes in and out of focus, the camera moves towards and away from the subjects face. Light flare has been used in a way to change to the next edit/shot. The flare and small moment of over exposure then returned to a non-natural light makes what is happening feel real yet still a bit fantasy like. As though it’s a whole different world and we are in the world of the little girl. I think this is to establish her character – and describe to the audience who she is and how she is entertained. The audience is able to see snippets of it. The shaky camera enables a personal feel and relates to the young girl – as the camera (movement) too seems a little naïve and playful. Close-up shots are used very often – but are very quick, almost temperamental. Quick cuts are made constantly and there seems to be no formula of shots. Every shot goes on for a unique amount of time – some are 2-second shots, others are 5-second and it is constantly changing. Throughout Amelies activities – cuts are made to edit some parts of what she is doing. When she is blowing into a piece of paper – the audience is shown parts of the act in segments. But very quick segments. So it seems you aren’t missing much – but a cut has still been made to continue with the fast pace. A film reel sound is heard at the end as the music slows down and Amelia goes out of frame – ending the credits.

The audience in then introduced to her parents. Tracking shots are used in nearly every shot (to highlight them in their environments). This continues with a fast pace – but just movement in general. There is a huge focus on movement. Through the use of this shot – the audience is also establishing an environment. The tracking shots are used to come close to the character and also to move around them. This is more structural as the camera doesn’t make any ‘round’ movements – it’s very direct. There are slight pauses as the end of the shots as well. At the train station it goes from the woman talking and the camera moves at a very fast paces towards the father (there is no focus while the camera is moving towards him and everything is blurred). The pool scene shows the camera rising up in a smooth moment. The camera so far has been very experimental and is showing so many different angles. The introduction of the parents is so fluid (I think anyway). The camera follows in an untimely way – yet making it timed beautifully. The camera movements highlight the mise en scene – establishing the environment. The mise en scene feels very thought out and well detailed – and the camera movements compliment this factor. We are shown the environments of the character and how the character ‘lives’ within them.

In the wife’s section – I like how the camera follows her head movements. This is still at a fast pace but throughout each section, such as when she gets up from her will the camera follows in a head/close up – cropping her head. There is just such a huge range of shots – from above, from below to establish her. Then there are formulas with the husband and wife that the audience can relate them together – and links them. Similar shots are used to establish the both of them (tracking shots coming closer and then another where they are seated (separated shots) and the camera is going from left to right). The music then ends to highlight a new scene.


FUN FACT – I have an inability to learn lyrics.

That’s untrue actually – I know every word of MY HUMPS by Black Eyed Peas. How does that reflect who I am? Poorly probably. Personally, I think it’s hilarious.

Another FUN FACT – because I couldn’t learn lyrics, I thought – Oh, I would probably be an amazing dancer. So I did dancing (I also did singing lessons, also a massive fail. Why did I ever think that would work in my favour?) and I loved dancing. I had so much fun with it. My teacher would tell me that I “needed improvement” – that I can’t follow patterns. I didn’t care. It wasn’t until I was axed from the aerobics team that I realised I might be terrible. I then became extremely bitter to all the aerobics girls.

Then my brother started DJing. I found that he appreciated just the beat and how it had a narrative. He would show me his new music – and I would tell him what I thought. Visuals would go through my head. I always created a whole story for the song. I could listen to songs on repeat until I made sure I knew what it would ‘look like’. This was about the same time where I was writing every night. I would write so many short stories every night – and I lived through it.

Why am I saying this? I don’t know. I am trying to find the source of my inspiration. Because when I am listening to certain things – I imagine things as well. In my mind there are fluid, moving visuals.


When I am asked to think of a scene or even film that I really enjoy and love – I can’t. I don’t know why that is. Its frustrating the hell out of me. I know I enjoy many – but I can’t think of specifics. Is the wrong? Is that terrible? Should I be studying film?

I remember my early teen years, maybe even earlier, I would beg my Dad to stay up later. I hated to sleep, as some kids do, I felt like I was wasting time. I just wanted to stay up – anything but sleep. My Dad was sat watching SBS world films all the time. If it wasn’t that – it was some documentary. He would give in sometimes – and he let me stay up. The only thing I had to do was watch the film or documentary. I always said yes – sometimes I would sit for 10 minutes and just walk myself to bed. Other times I would really appreciate the fact that I was watching them.

Subtitles would annoy me – I just wanted to see it ALL. But some of those whacky films I watched – I truly appreciate. I want to rematch them. But how can I do that if I don’t fully remember them?

I remember when I learnt french in school (10 years of my school life and then gave it up because I am a dickhead) and there was a day when we were able to watch a french film – and that was the very familiar …


So for the next scene deconstruction (which has not yet been posted… Sorry about that…) will be me watching the film and picking a scene that I enjoy. I hardly remember the film but I remember enjoying it.



Fluid. That word popped into my head.

Something that flows – something that has an entwining, linking movement. Not particularly the people in the frame, not even way the camera moves – just the way it comes together. Something light (?), something that looks effortless. I want it to be understood – but in a way thats easy (?). I want it to be a scene that someone wants to rematch over and over. I think that would be a dream. Well sort of. Something re-watched because of it’s effortless beauty (??).

There are some films that I watch over and over for ‘dead’ (hearing but not listening) entertainment. Something that makes me feel better and stops me worrying about external problems. There are some films I watch because the film is so genius (to me anyway).

I like to analyse films – I always have and probably always will. I also like to point out their flaws. I like to predict the ending and be proven wrong – and sometimes be proven right. Because when it’s right I know that the film maker has done something right. But that can work in both ways. I wouldn’t be able to define a good film – because different films for me serve different purposes. Whether that is to be challenged, entertained and/or totally engulfed.



To create a scene, write an essay or complete several exercises.

These are some of the things that we get to choose from – and at this point, I really want to create a scene. I think it would be a very rewarding process focusing on one scene. Creating something from scratch, well thought out and experiment with it.

In my head, this is how I want this scene to play out – I want it to be ‘art’ (which is an eerie concept anyway) rather than  a narrative story piece. I want to look at it as a blank canvas then create a piece on that piece. So I don’t want it to be linked to a film – or a scene taken out of a film. I want it to be a piece within itself. A lone scene… I don’t know. I am having trouble defining what I want… It’s annoying me. I think it’s something I just need to do.

For some reason – I keep think of music clips. They just keep popping into my heads. I think some music clips have a great sense of appeal and ‘lightness’ (some of course). They are short and some can be seen as a small part of a bigger picture. A lot of the story is defined in that small amount of time and others just have different aspects to it that are just based on ‘visual vibes’ – visuals that go with the song.


WEEK 4 – epiphany #4

Looking at silent footage is seriously effective.

I paid so much attention to detail – I saw mistakes, I also saw the flow. Although, pointed out by Paul, our week 3 exercises shown were poorly done. I like the honesty – and I saw what he meant. Seeing them silently though really highlighted the establishment of the shots and make me look purely at the framing.

Friday’s exercise was really great! It was a big group – and therefore there was more pressure to take your role seriously. Which I did… as best I could. I was an actor. Dreading seeing myself on screen – but it really gave me an insight. I was able to view from the outside – even though I was apart of the group. I contributed where I could – but also listened to the Director. It was interesting seeing how the shot was set up and then how it played out… The location was frustrating. But you face obstacles on set – and I guess that’s just one of the things that happen. Because it was so restricted I feel like we had a chance to challenge ourselves with shots. My team had a set amount of shots they wanted to do to fulfil the requirements and finish the scene – while we were at the location a little bit more creativity started to kick in and they wanted to try a few other things. We completed the shots with time left – so we redid a few more. Although – I felt like we didn’t push ourselves enough. We didn’t push ourselves creatively enough – we assumed shots to make the time limit and create a smooth process. But because these are exercises I think this is the time we really push ourselves to think outside the box – and even fail. I would be happy to fail at creating a shot – only to know that I took a risk and tried something different. But failing at a shot that is a go-to-shot would annoy me – because that is playing it too safe. But I think when you are working with a team and they are also reflected in what you make is a pressured environment and you have to consider how they feel about the shots. Compromise – but in teams you can’t be selfish.

I think my group did well in working together and sticking to roles. I liked that everyone took their roles seriously – and did what they could with them.

I haven’t been able to see the footage or edit yet – so I will see how that goes.

WEEK 3 – epiphany #3

This week (although I missed Wednesday) was really fun.

The more this course moves along – the more I enjoy it. I sense that some students are getting edgy that we have a lot of control. A lot of people want the best marks and to create the best things that they possibly can (maybe…) – we are so use to sticking to a criteria / set tasks. I like that we have the control. I like that this is experimental and that we are outside a set amount of tasks. It makes me feel like an adult… It makes me feel more in control of what I am learning and what I am capable of doing. I do understand that people are feeling confused and wondering how they are going to get their marks – but I think we need to learn to enjoy the process rather than the final result. I have complete trust in my tute – I feel like I am in a room of some very talented people. So it’s exciting for me to learn how they think, how they feel about exercises and how they react to being pushed creatively. I find it all very interesting.

The Friday class was great – the exercise we had to do really put the pressure on. We were forced quickly to work with people we didn’t know well and allow them to direct us. I unfortunately wasn’t able to direct a scene (as we ran out of time) – but watching other people think on their feet was interesting. Some people handled it well – some people wanted to make an abstract shot (or a well thought out shot) and others wanted to just get the shot done.