Chosen line to explore from Sam’s The Martyr

“at seventeen I have an insatiable appetite for youth”

 

Instant ideas I got after choosing this line to explore

–   Don bosco church? Sadly someone I grew up with passed away at 20 and his funeral was at this church – The church of our primary school that we had always gone to during our years there

–   School uniform still sitting in my sisters closet

–   Discouragement from ‘elder’ conquests – shopping by yourself, paying bills etc.

–   Playing games by yourself? DS, Wii – things you want to hold onto again but know will never have the same impact

–   Intentional lack of exploring romance – the only apps on your phone are games

–   Sense of nausea for some reason?

–   2 feet from the TV, staring at it from the floor of the living room

 

Clips created and their summaries/meanings

School Box (too big of a file to insert into post)

• This box just sits in my closet – Absolutely no need for it other than to look at it every couple of years and say “aw…. remember this”. My appetite for youth can be seen in this box. I have suppressed it just enough to not have it plastered on my bedroom wall to glance at everyday – but i still have an appetite enough to keep it in my presence

Box stored

• The box is packed up again, just like always, and just like every time I look at it for 5 minutes because I remembered it was there, I pack it up and put it away behind closed doors
• My appetite for youth suppressed again, only to come out in the next couple months when I clean my room again

Nausea

• This notion came to me as if it said “Hi look! It’s me! You’ve never noticed me before but i’m here!”
• I tried to depict it the best way i could in the clip
• This sense of nausea comes from an inability to have a healthy balance between my relationship with my youth and my relationship with my present self – like a metamorphosis that is never completed