Brydan Meredith Project Brief Four Blog Post

Firstly, see below a link to my google drive folder containing the creative works that make up my final research project.

In this folder should be: A screenplay for a pilot episode of a 22 minute television show entitled ‘Seasmith’ and a 1 minute and 44 second short film entitled ‘Leon’s Confrontation’ that is a direct product of Seasmith’s Scene 7 . 

In a folder within this folder is my groups week 8 studio update.

https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B_WRUiJ9iJqkRlNRTDh1Uk55Yk0

I declare that in submitting all work for this assessment I have read, understood and agree to the content and expectations of the assessment declaration.

 

Brydan Meredith, s3547569

Final Reflection

Another World studio emphasises the importance of good creative practice when looking to create a variety of Media forms. The idea of a Screenworld was something completely foreign to me before this course began, however I now deem it essential before undertaking any screen based project.

But why? Thanks for asking, what a great question!

The first ideas explored in this course were centred around  essential conventions that must be thought about when creating interesting, idiosyncratic screenworlds. These conventions were broad ones such as: The setting, the time period and the characters who comprise it. Anyone who watches a film can put a label on these things; they’re all relatively obvious, however, as the course progressed we narrowed in on the specifics. We no longer referred to simply ‘the setting’ – the term had become far too vague, instead we asked questions of the climate (How did if effect the characters? Would it influence living conditions?), the culture (Does the internet exist? Is there any education?) and internal Logic (What is coded in the world? Are there any morals? Are people religious? Do they trust the government? Do the characters have any concept of government? At 1:28pm everyday do dogs sneeze?). Then, after mulling over these questions, skimming the surfaces of the infinite possibilities, we began exploring how these specific codes interact with all the other specific codes. And through this melting pot of time, space, characters and rules, our worlds began to grow.

For some of you this may sound like a constraint, and in many ways, it is. It may seem easier to simply just write. Jump the hurdles as you go. I’ve done that before and in the past struggled to maintain focus (and interest) long enough to follow the writing through to its end. For me world building is about creative endurance.  Its ‘constraints’  gave me a lot of focus, which allowed me to stay interested in my idea, and ultimately produce something with undoubted longevity and (hopefully) substance.

When reading through and watching my submitted content I noted a consistency that can be attributed entirely to this creative process. Nothing was out of place because every scene/media piece shared a common ground – its world. This consistency can be tied to the fact that the media I created came from the same place, every scene was innately linked to the next, even over two mediums.

Time helped this consistency: Because I had given so much time and energy into thinking up my world (7 weeks), its people, its culture, its rules, its geography – all meant something to me, and as a consequence I felt convicted to obey it. Last night when I was looking through my screenplay, trying to tie up loose ends and grammatical errors, I scoured through some old notes from my oral presentation. One of the guest assessors wrote that my worlds relationship with the internet was quite interesting. It made me a little bit sad to think that I made no allusions to it in my final product. However, it also demonstrates the depth of which we all made our worlds, the fact that something as significant as the internet doesn’t even get a look in (because there are so many other interesting conventions and relationships between world and story) highlights the importance of taking your time with and dedicating yourself to seminal ideas.

Because ultimately it is these fledgling ideas that are the building blocks to larger, more significant works. Truman Capote wrote In Cold Blood after seeing a three line news story wedged in the corner of the New York Times. Screen works are no different. My initial idea (going into the studio) was to create an idyllic, sun kissed beach world inspired by Australian Indie Rock from the 80’s. It’s funny to think that the melancholy short film I made had no music at all, its tone couldn’t be further separated from the music of The Go-Betweens or The Triffids. The shift of my idea is symptomatic of this creative process, without it I would have created something less special, less unique. Mainstream adverts exploit our concept of the beach to sell cheeseburgers, so to have subverted this and created a seaside world marred by collectivist thought, cold weather and substance abuse is significant, and ultimately far more interesting.

Lastly, I would like to thank Stayci and the class for being deadset legends and creating a fantastic, free-thinking, creative environment. It was an absolute pleasure from start to finish!

Character Profiles

Juliet

Juliet is a lonely middle aged woman. She is pale. She is slightly overweight and quite boring. Just last night I came up with the idea of having Juliet’s story run parallel with the town. Juliet, like the town was once bright, caring and pretty. As the years have gone by She has lost her spark, her personality is smothered and subdued. To quote a piece of creative writing I did a month or so back for this course ‘Time doesn’t tell us what it takes, it just takes’. This rings true for Juliet.

Ryan

So far I have portrayed Ryan as being a blank canvas. He is non-reactionary and is a symbol of the average person. However, I think I would like him to not just be average, but to be polar-opposite of the people of this town. For him to wear knitted jumpers, glasses, well-read, underweight, maybe even snobbish or a know-it-all. Because he is my protagonist he needs to be stronger, more identifiable.

Dan and Farina’s Early Feedback

In class this week are presented Dan and Farina ‘Another World Screenplay Draft 3’ and they gave me some interesting feedback as to how I could improve my script. Not everything that they said I agreed with, however a lot of it made sense, so in a couple of weeks when I go back and refine everything its important for me to note these things. In bold is the direct feedback, in italics is my response.

  • Whats the purpose of putting his hand in the sand? What am I trying to say? This is a good bit of feedback, because it  wasn’t saying flat out ‘this makes no sense’, it instead questioned my motives. The reason I wrote this in, was not to reveal much about character or world, but instead to write a more specific scene. Sometimes its nice looking at something small whilst something much bigger is unfolding. 
  • The ocean being stagnant is good.
  • *untill he notices a lone distant figure walking down the beach*
  • Ryan looks out at the ocean. (not continue to look out at the ocean).
  • Consistent pace is design to show that he is walking with an objective. He is not staring at the ocean, he is a focused man. 
  • “I’m led to believe” sounds a bit clumsy, supposedly he is lower classer. This is a genuine concern, however he is addressing and to an extent threatening a stranger, maybe it is sort of mock formal. He wouldn’t talk like this to his friends. 
  • Instead of “Hey, Are you Ryan Callaghan?” instead it could be “Callaghan?” “Are you Callaghan?”. This is something I will take on board, presumable Leon knows who Ryan is in the script. Ryan is essentially the only one there who wasn’t born or raised in the place. 
  • Think of Leons speech as police like.
  • How specific can you be?
  • Does it really have to be this dramatic? Maybe another cigarette? 
  • Think about changing the “looks” and dramatic glances in the scene.
  • Ryan smirks.
  • Don’t write ‘gestures to Leon’. Who else would he gesture too?
  • Is $65 too much? Potentially I could make it only $55. However I like the idea of a minor victory, as if Ryan only gave Leon that amount simply to spite him. 
  • No reluctance from Leon when accepting the money.
  • Maybe Ryan gives Leon an antagonistic look?
  • Things to change: Leons character. And economise the big print. Keep things more concise.

In Class Writing Activity

Because lots of my early work has been short story writing it is important that I adapt what I have written into a screen world. Through my previous medium, I was able to thoroughly describe the intentions and motivations behind my characters actions (because I could communicate through writing directly from my character’s minds). However, in my screenplay writing I must find a way to show these things. It will be important for me to think symbolically, how can I put these thoughts into behaviour? How can I communicate this mood through visuals?

Below is an in class activity that allowed me to work on my skill to do this.

Hints:

  • Only write what the camera is seeing.
  • Verbs not adjectives makes the script become playable.
  • Don’t write ‘she’s feeling rebellious’ instead write ‘she kicks over the chair’. The latter is active and inherently visual.

Writing Prompt

Rinaldos so tired of his children’s bickering. He can’t bear to be a single dad and is at the end of his tether. He feels guilty and angry with himself.

RINALDO LOOKS ACROSS THE LIVING ROOM AND SEES HIS TWO CHILDREN, DARYL (AGE 6) AND LORENZO (AGE 7), FIGHTING. HE SHUTS HIS EYES AND RUBS HIS FACE. THE CHILDREN CONTINUE RUNNING AROUND THE LIVING ROOM. HE EXITS THE ROOM AND WALKS DOWN THE HALLWAY UNTILL HE REACHES THE DOOR THAT LEADS TO HIS BALCONY. HE OPENS THE DOOR AND LEANS AGAINST THE IRON RAILING. RINALDO DIGS INTO HIS RIGHT POCKET AND FINDS A PACKET OF CIGARETTES. HESITANTLY HE TAKES ONE OUT OF THE PACKET AND LIGHTS IT WITH THE REDHEADS LYING NEXT TO THE ASH TRAY. RINALDO SMOKES A CIGARETTE WITH HIS RIGHT HAND AND RUBS HIS EYES WITH HIS LEFT. HE TURNS TO HIS RIGHT AND LOOKS INTO HIS NEIGHBOURS WINDOW. HE SEES HIS NEIGHBOUR LAUREN DOING THE DISHES. SHE LOOKS OUT THE WINDOW AT HIM. RINALDO STARES AT HER UNTILL SHE PULLS UP THE BLIND.

Project Brief 3 Reflection 2 Brydan Meredith

Project Brief 3 Blog Post 2

In this blog post I am going to reflect on the feedback given to me after I presented a proposal for my world last Thursday. Michelle, a guest assessor, recommended that I watch the British television crime drama Broadchurch in order to inform my current world. I watched the first episode this morning and noted several commonalities between my world and the world of Broadchurch, notably the parochial nature of the town. From the very beginning of the series the Broadchurch writers go to great stress to communicate the insularities of their world.

Oliver, a young journalist, asks his editor why she still employs a lousy, unreliable photographer, the editor replies “I see him at the supermarket every Saturday, we look after our own here”. The lolly shop owner when asked if he knew the murdered 10 year old said “They brought him in here, 3 days old”. The man doing the autopsy on the child states “We don’t get these around here, make sure you find them”.  

Perhaps Broadchurch is like this because (like my world) it is distant from a major city. Michelle thought that the correlation of literal distance and cultural distance in my world was particularly interesting. She noted that it was even more interesting due to the rise of the internet (which has the ability to grant people virtual access to other cultures). This idea has worried me because it presents a contradiction in my world. How can I have a truly insular world when the world has virtual access to mass-culture? I have thought about this and can answer it in two ways. The first is through “being in the world not of the world”: Perhaps the young people of my town who have access to social media dismiss anything not relevant to their town as being insignificant and frivolous. They consider world news as poison. The older people of my town are, by nature, stubborn and set in their old ways. As a consequence, they take a simpler approach, they ignore online media, they refuse to indulge in it.

The second way I discovered through watching Broadchurch. The people of Broadchurch demonstrate a natural scepticism to social media. Just hours after her son had passed away the Mother was disgusted when her daughter received a google alert from the buzzwords “Broadchurch” and “Murder”. Though the implications of social media are daunting for the family, considering it could take away their privacy, at this moment in the story the Mothers outrage was directed at the principal of google alerts as opposed to the un-perceived threat of invaded privacy. This is another demonstration, in the world of fiction, that a physical distance from mass-culture can lead to technological scepticism. Which leads me to think, maybe I don’t need to justify anything? This is how insular cultures operate, through natural scepticism and a conscious ignorance directed at things greater than themselves.

Lastly I will talk about my ‘Fish Out of Water’ protagonist. Lucy (guest assessor #2) as well as my in-class table group thought that a foreign protagonist, one that is at a distance from the world that they have been placed in, is a really effective way for the viewer to be objectively introduced to a world. In Broadchurch the viewer is revealed the world in this manner. Alec (David Tennant) is a man who recently arrived in Broadchurch after a long career in the big city and through his perspective the world of Broadchurch reveals itself.

When I talk about my protagonist to my group they often say ‘How is he going to change the world?’ ‘Is he out there enough to change the world?’ Something I will insist on is that my world cannot be changed, it is an all-consuming world, you’re either a part of it or you’re not. The world is bigger than a solitary individual’s resistance. However, there were two very interesting questions (given to me by my table group) that I will need to explore. ‘Is there something in his history that prevents him from being a part of the culture?’ and secondly ‘Does he tip his toe into the culture and then decide whether he wants to be a part of it or not?’ This last question has the potential to be an interesting point of conflict in my story.

Where to from here?

  • My plans are, for the end of semester to submit to short films (2-3 minutes long) based in my world and to submit a script of roughly 20 pages.
  • Initially I was planning on writing a short story, however it occurred to me that we’re writing screen worlds and that to get the most out of this course I must be focusing on that.
  • In the coming days I may adapt some of my earlier prose into little pieces of screenplay, this will be a good starting point for my longer one.
  • Filming, at this stage, will be done on March 7, a Sunday at a suburban, bayside beach town. Where I will film my work in progress script, that I attached for PB3 and a script idea that I will write in the coming days. Both scenes will only be snapshots of what life, in my world, will be like.
  • Recently I’ve been getting into film photography, attached below are photos I had developed last week after a weekend trip down to Anglesea. Hopefully they capture some of the mood that I will explore in my upcoming media.

Reflection 1 Project Brief 3 Brydan Meredith

Attached is my short screenplay, please see below.

Brydan Meredith_Another World_Draft 3 Another World_Screenplay-pjzx26

Before I talk about where I’m at, I must first talk about where I’ve come from.

In my Project Brief 2 blog posts I wrote of an idyllic, quintessentially Australian, sun drenched town, that served as merely a setting, rather than a world, for my damaged protagonist to roam.

When writing PB2 I was hit with a colonel of an idea, albeit vague, of the type of world I would like to begin to mould.

“I think the relationship between the story world and the characters is strong. The idea (that I just touched on) of my characters being in a relatively flat, dry and unchanging world is something that, now that I’m conscious of it, works quite nicely.” – PB2, Brydan Meredith.

Here I identify a key aspect of my world, that it doesn’t change, but I don’t go on to show the impact that this characteristic has on all the other elements that comprise my world. How do people operate in a stagnant culture as opposed to a progressing one? How does this influence behaviour?

Whilst I was thinking about these ideas I read George Orwell’s ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’. Orwell, in Nineteen Eighty-Four, presents to the extreme what happens when a society or culture is so insular and self-indulged that it exists purely to reinforce its own image, its own idea of itself.

And what does happen? People operate in uniformity; Independent thought is outlawed and citizens rapidly lose empathy. For me this was a big ‘ahhhh’ moment when thinking about specifying my worlds internal logic and the relationship between my story world and its characters.

My world evolved from being merely a ‘stagnant’ place to having dystopian culture of its own: I changed the geography of my town (it became a town cut off from mass culture due to physical distance), I made the people of my town cruel and un-empathetic, the weather became permanently bitter, physical pleasures (like sex, violence, drugs, alcohol) dictated behaviour and much of its infrastructure became run down due to lack of use. Lastly and most significantly, the people of my world began seeing their world as flawless. They live for the world, for their idea of the world- not for themselves.

Attached is a short screenplay, featuring my original protagonist from Project Brief 2. I initially had this idea about three weeks ago. All I knew at that stage was that my story would begin with a stranger approaching Ryan (my protagonist) whilst he is sitting on the beach and that it would end with Ryan attacking this stranger.

Initially Ryan was going to be the aggressor, the trouble maker, a man looking for cleansing in a rather naturalistic world. In my initial prose, I wrote Ryan as a ‘dark shadow’ trying to rid guilt. However, as I altered my worlds culture, I had to alter my writing appropriately.

I began to imagine Ryan as being to my world what Winston, Nineteen Eighty-Four’s protagonist, is to Orwell’s world. They are both free-thinking individuals that don’t want to conform to the oppressive society in which they live. Ryan switched from being the problem in a forgiving world, to being a sense of hope in a very problematic, cruel world. Ryan, like Winston, is an outsider whose morals don’t align with the ethics of the town.

This ‘world first’ approach completely changed my initial idea. Leon (the stranger), symptomatic of his world, was unforgiving. Ryan was submissive. The roles were completely reversed. There would be no physical altercation at the end. The rules of my world certainly created limitations, I had to change the whole dynamic of the scene, but it ultimately forced me to write something consistent, with its own internal logic, which is not only apparent but a point of interest in the writing.

I focused heavily on pacing when drafting the screenplay; aiming to write a slow scene. I wanted to write a slow scene to represent the stagnant, boring nature of my world. One of my favourite novels, John Updike’s Rabbit Run, does this very well. Rabbit, the protagonist, is trapped in this dry, boring, homogenised American town (Brewer). Updike writes of life in Brewer through long, drawn out passages that encapsulates the towns nature and makes the reader feel trapped just like Rabbit. Through my pacing I want to achieve the same effect as Updike. To tell a quick paced story wouldn’t be true to my world, this doesn’t mean I need to tell a boring story, I simply shouldn’t rush.

Lastly I will write about how my evolving world led me to make stylistic changes in representing Leon. Leon was initially envisioned as a middle-class character, he was to wear chino’s and a designer ski-jacket. Instead, ‘Leon wears baggy, faded jeans and an old Essendon Bombers Jacket. He is smoking a cigarette’. In regards to characterisation Leon channels a hardy stoicism that he previously didn’t have. ‘Leon is smoking a cigarette. The cold wind blows against his face causing him to grimace’. These two minor changes in my character, as a consequence of my world changing, turned Leon from a plain, 2-dimensional character to someone interesting and idiosyncratic.

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