The film:

Reflection:

As explored in the early stages of this studio, an essay film can adopt various forms and styles, emphasising experimentation and the use of personal voice. Such understanding of the essay film genre guides my filmmaking throughout the studio, from the start of planning to the completion of my own essay film. As Maria Tumarkin (2015) posits, ‘[Essays] are held together not by a narrative but by a sensibility, or a consciousness, or a voice, or way of moving through the world’. This comprehension of essays also reflects my way of navigating the world through my essay film, which specifically introspects human nature and our being. Ultimately, my final work demonstrates my experimentation and implementation of my voice to explore the notion of identity.

Upon attending the studio exhibition, I realised that many other student works examine or in some way relate to the idea of identity. As essay films delve into the use of personal voice, this demonstrates how most of us turn to attempts to understand or uncover parts of our existence and place in this world. My film is therefore an addition to this discovery of oneself, from my unique perspective as it explores the paradoxes of human nature inspired by my indecisive personality. As such, I hope it speaks to the people who realised this universal conviction or came to realising it after viewing my work. In general, the film is for a broad audience as I believe most, if not all of us, feel uncertain and conflicted at times. The film does not aim to provide a solution, but rather, it recognises a universal belief and perhaps evokes a sense of reassurance. In line with what Laura Rascaroli (2009:185) states, ‘rather than answering all the questions that it raises, and delivering a complete, “closed” argument, the essay’s rhetoric is such that it opens up problems, and interrogates the spectator’. Hence, I hope my film inspires thought-provoking insights by engaging the viewer with visual and aural elements.

Building on this, what I consider to be the most successful aspect would be my visual approach in editing my film. Having only started my editing journey as a first-year student, I challenged myself to translate all the creative imagery in my head into an actual project. These imagery encompass experimenting with different framings, text variations in digital and handwritten, colour curves to transform originally black-and-white images, and halation effect to create a film look, all while editing to a musical tempo. In relation to what Hans Richter (1940:91) observes, ‘The essay film… to make the invisible world of imagination, thoughts, and ideas visible, can draw from an incomparably larger reservoir of expressive means than can the pure documentary film’. In editing various sorts of visual imagery to the rhythm, I aimed to illustrate thoughts with a visually engaging film by leveraging the versatile nature of essay films.

Conversely, as I had numerous contrasting ideas while brainstorming, I felt that I did not have the clearest idea of how I wanted my film to unfold. Due to the lack of structure, the bulk of my film takes form during editing but the process felt inefficient and at times, unproductive. Primarily, I was attempting to fit idea by idea to the music, with a brief outline of key textual ideas. Hence, I am uncertain if my film would appear disjointed and resonate well with the audience. In particular, they might not comprehend why I incorporated a scene of me and a friend playing rock paper scissors even when I included the dialogue for context. However, I consider this film personal so I decided to include the scene that resonated with me.

Therefore, if I were to continue developing this media piece, I would want to improve its structure or come up with an alternative version that is more coherent. In an alternative version, I might write a longer voiceover that could better inform the viewer of the topic as my current film has limited voiceover. With an improved structure, I imagine I could also edit more efficiently. Furthermore, I could also consider incorporating casual interviews about my chosen topic. With additional voices and perspectives, my film might resonate with a broader audience as it can then demonstrate the topic’s universality.

All in all, a key lesson I learnt from this studio experience is that this is just one project I am making and thus, I am prompted to be experimental and creative. To elaborate on this matter, I often find myself procrastinating, trying to find the best possible way to present an idea. As the essay film underscores experimentation, I was encouraged to try out ideas even if I was uncertain about them. By inspiring creativity instead of limiting it, this reminder greatly motivated me and spurred my working productivity. In short, I endeavour to explore creative boundaries in future media-making wherever the genre allows me to.

References

Rascaroli L (2009) ‘The essay film: problems, definitions, textual commitments’, in Alter NM and Corrigan T (eds) Essays on the essay film (2017), New York: Columbia University Press, 183-196, https://doi.org/10.7312/alte17266.

Richter H (1940) ‘The film essay: a new type of documentary film’, in Alter NM and Corrigan T (eds) Essays on the essay film (2017), New York: Columbia University Press, 89-92.

Tumarkin M (2015) What the essayist spills: The Unspeakable by Meghan Daum, Sydney Review of Books website, accessed 24 October 2024. https://sydneyreviewofbooks.com/reviews/what-the-essayist-spills-the-unspeakable-by-meghan-daum