This Was Meant To Be The(!) Reflection But I Got Lost

In the beginning this studio was a blur, a slap in the face to the comfortable life. Adrian dropped statement after statement questioning this or that, things we’ve become accustomed to – stories, anthropocentrism, agency – buzzwords that would eventuate into whole thoughts, a reworking of synapses. Starting a new semester is always a difficult task given the new faces and new content, and finding one’s footing can be daunting. Crisis. Panic. Worry about the future – what the hell am I gonna be when I grow up? I’ve learned that, although you may aim for a single path, you are bound the hit a crossroads at some point, probably even two or three or four. The media program graduates X thousand amount of students who can do what you can do, so you’ve gotta get that one step ahead. Realise that the doing – the recording of the doing – is more important than the end result. Verbs, not nouns.

Ultimately this studio helped me challenge the world, challenge my perception of things – myself, mostly, and where and how I fit into the scheme of things – challenge narrative, challenge schooling. I fear that I will find it hard going forward without a teacher who understands things like Adrian does. I would like to continue this studio and this learning about agency and materiality maybe forever, or at least until I have properly comprehended these strands that are left fraying in my brain. This is starting to feel like a sappy ending to a rom-com. Side note: I should’ve taken more (better) notes. If I’m really dedicated, I should compile a bunch of notes on this subject, draw from the blog and get to the nitty gritty of what I really find interested. If I’m really dedicated I should take a look at that note-taking method that Adrian left a comment about on my blog. If I’m really dedicated I should hold onto these thoughts, these new ideas about relationality and find ways to import them into my work. I’ll miss this studio.

Step 1: bullet journal.

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