At the start of this semester I had no idea what I was going to gain and achieve from this subject – this semester. It’s been an up and down journey, sometimes I felt motivated and other times I felt like I couldn’t do anything. It has made me realise how much choice I have in the matter – that anything is possible, and I can do what I actually want to do. It’s just hard to find what exactly that is.

This semester has made me look at coverage, covering a scene, in a different light. I think one of the most effective tools this semester was the ‘no discussion’ we had at the start of the semester. I liked how we didn’t sit around and talk about whats to come from the rest of the semester, instead we just went straight into the content. The exercises were a great way to meet the class, but also to just set us up to somewhat be ‘shocked’. After we did our own interpretation of the script / description given and covered it with a camera with constraints, we then were able to see the real scene. It was just great to see what we could do. I also found the lectures at the start to be very enlightening. The amount of class time all up, was much better than just two hours a week. I felt like a I really got a lot more out of it.

I felt as though my technical skills improved a lot – just because we were doing it and interacting with the devices, rather then just learning about them verbally. It was also fun to be given the freedom to work independently but also make close bonds with the people in out class. So far in this degree, I have not had a class that I liked more! It was great to listen to feedback, give feedback and just have a conversation with the people around you (in a non-formulated) – and we were all curious about what we were doing and really made it a mission to work as hard as we could. The only confusing part was where to find all the assessment briefs and everything else put online. I feel like it was in a lot of different places  – and it was just a struggle to find everything. But I got there in the end!

This semester I have done a little but of ‘self discovery’ – working out what I want to do and what I see myself doing. Photography is something that has always driven me, and is something I feel most confident doing. Cinematography is something I thought would suit me, and something I would feel would work me and something I would enjoy. This semester has challenged that notion, and that original thought. Although, I do love being in control of the camera – I wanted to look at directing. Something sitting in the back of my head, and something I have wanted to do since I was a young girl is acting. I had a huge fear of stages when I was younger, and would get so excited and nervous that I would faint. I felt so out of my comfort zone that I didn’t know if I liked the feeling – or if it was good or bad? So I wanted to be behind the camera and help those in front feel confident. It then brought me to the question – to be a great director, do you need to know how the actor feels and how to relate to their role? This is where my investigation begun. I wanted to research directors and read, watch and see what they do and how they are the way they are. I always wanted to look at actors and their comments on directors, what types they enjoyed and why. I started watching films to inspire me once again, and write about what I saw in each film – what choices were made and how I thought the performance was. I really wanted to focus on the reflection – I wanted to really find what I liked and disliked about the film.

Watching B-roll, behind the scenes, interviews on set (before, during and after the film) – really broke it down for me. Something that made me really excited was seeing the actors click from being their roll while recording, then once called cut, how they transform back into themselves. It is amazing to see actors click from one person to the other while being the same person. It honestly fascinates me. There is something about watching an actor get into their role, and performing , then going back to ‘themselves’ that makes me question what is real, and what makes a good performer and what are we really viewing. It’s interesting to think that a character that is written can be played by someone who can adapt to the character created and the add their impersonation as well as the directors. It’s a beautiful mix. It’s amazing that one character can be played by anyone, but could be completely different with each person whole plays the roll.

Darren Aronofsky’s, Black Swan (2010), gave power back to me. There is something about that film that just inspires me to be a creator. I am always on the edge of my seat. The coverage if the film, personally, is incredible. The use of mirror rooms, and the stages makes it all feel a little TOO real – but in the best sense. I am so happy I watched this again, because it gave me the power to move of the previous slum I was in and just create what I enjoy.

I used the film investigation to think outside the box. I wanted to make use of my surroundings – and so I filmed what I think looked aesthetically beautiful – tree’s for example. I am not sure if this was the best way to go, because maybe it would have been a change for me to work with a narrative. My previous works don’t show much of a ‘story’, which in a way is a great thing – but also, I maybe should have experimented with it. Yet, I can do that now!

In this semester break I am setting myself a goal to film a scene – a scene with dialogue, footage that I will edit, and I want to do casting for it. Maybe it will turn into something more, or maybe it will be terrible (hopefully not). That doesn’t matter –  I am setting myself a goal. This is a goal that I really want to achieve in this break – because if this subject has taught me one thing, it’s just to get out and do it. Keep creating and making.


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