1st –

I went on to Starnow and picked out a few people I liked – I then searched them and found that they looked completely different to photograph the put up. This really put me off… I have put a lot of pressure on myself, and I think not having trust in the person I am filming may impact the way I direct. I know I am just being a bit of a wuss – but I already feel a little uneasy about the process. So I have decided to film it two different ways (maybe more if I am feeling overly inspired). 

I am also cutting out the dialogue… This might be able to allow me to focus on the coverage of the scene – really lay out the scene. Think about where I want to shoot from. Location – and composition. I can also rely on me and the subject to see how we work together in the space and gather interpretations of what is expected. 


#1 Improvise with a friend 
This sounds like the lazy way – and it was proven to be difficult.
My friend was/is not an actor – and she has no intentions to be one either. So it was an awkward experience for her. I had to really accommodate to her – make sure she felt comfortable.
With the script – without dialogue, I eliminated the second character and it made about the girl. I wanted to highlight something in relation to the script (in post-proudction) I want to put subtitles over the frame. Before going into ‘filming’ I wanted to improvise the location + set + camera. But I set how to film the girl doing average things – such as reading, drinking tea, getting dressed. I was seeing it in my head how I wanted to the viewer to see it – read the subtitles but see the visuals and relate them to the girl. Such as – has she been asked to dance already, or if she was somewhere would this be happening etc. I am thinking about doing a v/o. I don’t know if subtitles will take away from the imagery – which it sometimes can because it’s hard to concentrate on two things (for me anyway).

So while filming, I brought my tripod and camera and told her briefly what I wanted to film – and she didn’t really ask if there was a script or an intention for it. She was happy to do whatever. I asked where she would do these daily tasks and she said in her room. It was night time, so there was a lot of differently lighting, but I am thinking now I would prefer to do it during the day even outside. But a better source of lighting would have been better. I set up my tripod – and it broke. I need to invest in a better tripod. But this really made me not want to film – I had two voices in my head, Paul will be angry I didn’t ‘frame up’ my shot and not using a tripod AND Maddie shit happens, go with it. So it spun me off a it, but I decided to do it – and she didn’t mind because she was still happy to do it. Which was good – because then I really didn’t know what I was going to do. There was one shot I really wanted to do – and that was come in from the door and ‘walk’ over to her and film her putting the shirt on… But we attempted this and she couldn’t do it naturally. So we scrapped that – and we just started doing something simple. I just asked her to lay down and talk to me about what she does when she is feeling good, relaxed and a little bit accomplished. She then told me that wearing nice underwear makes her feel empowered – and so I told her to put that on. We then did what we intended to do, and completely improvised. She was cold, so she left her socks on. Then i just started talking to her – and moving my camera around her body and asking her what she thought and how she felt. I did this so I could get an idea of what made her comfortable/uncomfortable.

I am not entirely happy with the content I filmed, because it really wasn’t what I wanted at all and it just isn’t thought out enough for me to actually like it…I think I may like filming the second one better, because planning will go into and hopefully a damn Tripod. I have also done something similar to this in the past… and I just feel like I am not pushing myself enough and it makes me disappointed in myself. I want to set up a crew, and do all these things – I am just not backing myself enough.

I am hoping, at this point, that I will edit this anyway.
I am so avoiding this subject a bit – because I am not pushing myself and it’s making me feel a little bit down on myself. Again that’s not an excuse. I am just extremely frustrated with myself at this moment. I just feel like I am not achieving what I want. I need someone yelling at me… or I am just over thinking it.


Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.19.46 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.18.34 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.18.02 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.16.50 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.16.22 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.11.44 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.13.05 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.14.18 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.14.46 pm Screen Shot 2015-05-28 at 4.15.55 pm

PLAN – still editing


Introduction –

> Introduction of myself (basic – want this to be reflective from start to finish)
> Where I started off / what I was feeling / and what I wanted to accomplish

> What I am investigating
> How I was going to/have gone about what I was investigating



In a Friday class, (I think it was week 9) – we were put into groups and were given the time to investigate something. I really enjoyed my group – the good thing about the subject so far is that I have really gotten to know most people in my class and am keen to work with the (without feeling shy and a bit scared). Although, I still feel a bit timid – but I just need to get over that.

Michael suggested the ‘Vertigo’ zoom (as he referred to it). The Wednesday class was about short little exercises to do with zoom, focus, focal point etc. So that really helped with out investigation. I was really REALLY happy with who I was working with – we were able to bounce of idea’s and have a really good time. For this investigation we chose the ground level hallway to do this. We fiddled around and we ultimately needed a dolly to create a smooth shot (give us the dolly Paul)  – but we made use of a wheely chair and tape. We originally tried a handheld approach – but there was too much human error. We ended up taping the camera to the chair. Tom said on the ground (because we had a chair…) and Gabby and I pulled the chair back, while Michael watched and directed. Henry was on camera – changing the zoom and focus at the same time we moved. This ended up being a physical gesture – he was basically doing the splits. Aria was at the back watching the monitor from the camera (we didn’t bother with audio). We did this shot multiple times, pushing the chair faster, and changing it up each time till we were happy.

We then moved onto Henry’s fighting scenes – where I was DOP and worked with Henry to try and achieve what he wanted. Gabby and Aria were the performers first up – and Henry choreographed each move (which he is great at). The by watching what they did, I discussed the movement of the camera. He wanted a few ways of how he wanted the scene to be filmed – one was just the ‘standard’ and no movement. The other was movement, zooms etc. The next fighting scene was with Michael and Tom – and they really enjoyed it, improvising where they could. But this is when I was able to hold the camera handheld – it got a little heavy so I swapped with Gabby for a bit. But it was all a lot of fun – because we all got really into it. Henry gave me a lot of leeway – as he was more focused on the movement of the performers (not sure if the safety procedures were put into place…) but not one was hurt and it was good fun. I can’t wait to see what Henry (or anyone else) edits. I didn’t know what I was doing, as I have never really paid attention to fighting scenes – so this was really good for me. I learnt a lot – and realised how much work went in with the communication and even trust.

This was probably one of my favourite classes thus far – it was so fun and something that, normally, you wouldn’t get the time to experiment with. So I really enjoyed this. I just need to have faith in something I want to do… While also making it a productive class for everyone.

DOOR EXERCISE – Reflection

This exercise turned out to be very interesting – everyone had their own roll and needed to stick to it, while supporting one another.

I unfortunately missed the first groups filming (traffic) – but I made it for my groups. Because I was late, I opted to be the ‘performer’ – as I thought that was fair. I was working along side Gabby (the other performer). We all set out with a plan as to what type of shots were to be done and the time limit. Our group for time was really well – we actually finished all the shots we planned 20 minutes before the end of class. We then had the time to improvise shots, and as Chris said – “Make Paul froth”. So we tried to get a bit more creative, and do shots that we might think would look cool. We attempted a tracking shot without a dolly (let us use a damn Dolly Paul) – with a chair. Which was really fun, we attempted that a few times, obviously not as smooth as we would have wanted it… We also reshot some shots that we thought could have been done a little bit better, performance and frame wise.

I thought this we a good exercise as it quickly enabled us to work as a team and just do what we needed to do.

Editing – I doubt myself in editing. I really enjoy doing it – but I am very fussy with things that I am editing. So far me it was hard to edit this – just because the shots weren’t exactly what I wanted. That’s more about me being a perfectionist. I also tend to get frustrated because I can’t get it how I want it… I also find that when I am not inspired or passionate about something that I have shot, I can’t edit it. It’s the same with my photography – if I am not inspired with what I have made, I procrastinate editing and don’t really enjoy the process. Although, I can do the other extreme where I love what I have done and can’t change it because I feel I will ruin it – and then I look at it too much and become way to critical. I am highly critical of myself, it’s one of my downfalls.

So editing this was difficult for me – I wasn’t left inspired after filming. Maybe that’s also because I had to edit myself on screen and that’s cringe worthy enough. So I did some weird edit which reminded me of a UK crappy tv show with a weird pace… I could be wrong though.

Presentation – NOT POSTED ON TIME

MAY 1st

Up until today – I have not felt the need or desire to write a post. Actually, I avoiding thinking about this subject all together.

I felt a bit depleted. I felt a little rejected and annoyed. I don’t know what I was expecting, but I was expecting something a little different. I doubted my idea and my investigation straight after I did it. I didn’t receive critque, and that offended me. I know it was not intentional, AT ALL, and I blame no one – but I didn’t seem to get what I wanted. But I didn’t know what I wanted, so that complicates the situation further.

I felt so vulnerable standing there. I wrote my speech down, and I was ready to go. But there is something that I do, something that I always do – and that’s completely forget about the speech I wrote and just speak. I follow the guidelines of what I have written – but I just can’t bring myself to read out a speech. I like to see peoples faces, I like to see how they react and I also like to see how I feel when I am standing up there.


avoiding this blog for a little while…