X-Men: Apocalypse – Sansa, lemons, four horsemen and who is Jubilee

I didn’t even inhale popcorn while watching this movie, guys. There must be something seriously done wrong or something seriously done right.

(there are no in-betweens….maybe)

  1. Sansa/Sophie/Jean was like looking at a full-bloomed lemon tree knowing that any time now, life’s just about to give you some lemons.
  2. Isaac’s Apocalypse wasn’t as intimidating as I thought he would be but he’s blue and that makes up for it.
  3. The Four Horsemen of Weakness or was it just me?
  4. I never thought Scott to be that cocky for a boy who kept “blinking” at someone else’s girlfriend. The head nod to the joyride made up for it, though. Gotta love my X-Men Evolution.
  5. Who is Jubilee?
  6. What is her significance to the story?
  7. Quiksilver has just replaced vanilla cupcake as my favourite nail colour.
  8. I do feel really bad for Magneto. When will he ever get a break, you know?
  9. Wolverine!……again.

I think this series packed a punch in the introductory sense but it begs the question of are we restarting the X-Men franchise again with this cool new kiddos ‘cause I’m pretty sure I’m all for it? Was Quicksilver killed in The Avengers so that his story is explored more here in the X-Men franchise because I think that’s smart? 

There are many ways to enjoy the “end” of this franchise and that is by believing that it, in fact, will not. With X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)’s timeline-altering consequences, there is an expectation of character-driven storylines that can involve a hypersexualised Wolverine to a teenaged Jean Grey and a more soulful Scott Summers; Rogue, where’s Rogue? and Nightcrawler in his corduroys cheating on a game of catch me if you can.

I’m a little bit all over the place but I enjoyed it more than my niece and nephew did. Apparently they slept the entire time. Amateurs.

xoxx out of xoxo

feature image c/o

Ze brekky club – greasers, judds and the otp

This is for Tash and Meg, they love a good greaser.

The Breakfast Club was lent to me because as I was trying to circumnavigate the world of cult films, I ended up only liking the idea of it (pretentious, I know) and still I sang “Don’t youuuuuu forget about meeee” the Pitch Perfect and I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I WANT TO CRY.

But now I do, when I learn that the scene where they all sit around, discussing their destructive home-lives while the camera pans around them like how your typical 80’s film was ad freakin libbed. Can I not die until I have done this as a future filmmaker?

And then Judd Nelson, who I mistake for Judd Apatow for a simple namesake, and his character Bender; a true greaser, part of the gang, Outsiders, the ex-convict you want to beautifully punch in the face with a happiness spell. (Let’s face it, geeks, you all want to wingardium leviosa his fine booty in your non-siliconed boobaciousness *cough chest cough*). He’s like a spellbound loon and he makes the breakfast in the Breakfast Club.

Andy’s not a sight for sore eyes either if you like your short studs who fall for the gorgeous one whose soul was mistaken to be as black as their previous eyeliner. She just needed the prince and they clicked and I cried seeing them happy, okay, don’t judge meh!

And Bryan’s a sad case of a boy you want to wrap in a towel and suffocate under a bunch of pillows. Make him forget about pressure, make him see beauty, make him see love. Stop telling me he won’t finish a Rubiks cube in less than 5.95 seconds.

The pretty, popular one’s someone you’d like to caption cliché but she was sort of gassy and superfluous and she stuck in with the rest of them quite timidly and I liked it. She fit in but she didn’t, but she did. I saw the tension and the side-eyes. I predicted it but she didn’t quite deliver. I OTP sporty and nail-biter than these two.

In conclusion, I wanted to drown in a pool of their tears, soak it up with a sponge, drain in a bucket and pour out to moisten the plants of their future children’s veggie patches. It’s the #1 high school film in 2006 for a reason.

ps. The iconic Bender punch in the air ain’t even romantic, ladies (and Becca). But I’ll give you a spud for trying.

8 sandwiches out of 10. Spread the word!